Jesus Bring the Rain...

One of my favorite songs to listen to when I am going through a trial is Jesus Bring the Rain by Mercy Me. This song soothes my soul every time I listen to it. After talking to a friend going through many trials, this song cried out to me. "I am Yours regardless of the clouds that may move above, because You are much greater than the pain..."

We've all been there. Stuck in the middle of that storm and not able to see the way out. Not sure there is a way out. And just when you think it can't get any worse, the winds pick up and the rain starts to pelt even harder. Nothing seems greater than the pain when we are in the thick of it. Nothing. I remember hearing it explained like this once: Imagine someone is holding an object right against your face. You have no clue what the object really is being that close to it. It could be anything. But the further you move it away from you, the more detailed it becomes. You realize it's a pencil. You can see the colors and lines...you can see it for what it really is. Your perspective changes. It's so easy to lose focus when life is crashing down around you. It's these times during our trials that we lose our perspective and forget that the battle has already been won and victory is at hand.

James warned us that hard times would come our way. And when they come, He tells us to “consider it pure joy…because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” James 1:2-3

Perseverance? Do I have that? Do I really have a steady persistence in a purpose especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement? Not even close.

None of us likes to suffer, but suffering is an important ingredient if our lives are ever going to have any chance to mirror the life of Christ. If we want to be more like Him, then we, too, must suffer and persevere.

I don’t like the valleys that life brings my way. I haven’t yet learned to confront them with a joyful spirit. But I do know this: My walk with Christ can never be strengthened until I learn to walk through those valleys with Him, hand in hand. Life is filled with mountains and valleys. We often think of those valleys as the dark, suffering times. And most of the time they are. But what happens at the top of the mountain? Nothing grows. The growth happens way down deep into the valleys. That is where we grow. The real beauty that God has to offer is always found in the valleys.

My friend tonight asked when the pain would stop. When she would stop feeling what she was feeling. I said I didn't know. I can't presume to give that time line. But the one thing I do know is that through it, God will be glorified. Because it is through our suffering that we get a glimpse of what Jesus did for us on the cross. We serve a Savior who knows what rejection felt like...who knows what pain felt like. It's during these times that we must humble ourselves before God and admit we can't do it on our own. The answer to our trials is not to change addresses...it is to change our hearts.

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge...
Psalms 62:8

Comfort Zones

I do have an excuse for taking so long to write into the New Year. I've been deciding on a word.

A word you say? Yes. A word. Just one. To sum up this new year. One word that I want to do and become and glorify God with. So that's what I've been doing. Choosing my word. Waiting to hear from God with the green light.

This process started out a little chaotic. The thoughts in my head were consuming my heart. What word would I choose? What did I want to be in this next year? What did I want to accomplish? What was hindering me from being that person and doing those things?

My first word was forgive. Then God refined it into mercy, and finally compassionate.

com•pas•sion•ate
1. Share the suffering of
2. Showing or having compassion; humane, merciful, sympathetic

The word for me. Compassionate. It has been on my heart to be and show God's compassion to others. Yesterday morning on my way to church, I passed a homeless man sleeping under an overpass. Seeing him heaped under those blankets hit me so hard I almost wrecked the car. I don't know why this man hit me more than the others I have passed and seen. But as I drove past him, my heart cried "That could just as easily be me laying there...why do I get to have a warm place to lay my head at night? What makes me so much better?? Our hearts are the same! Dirty and ugly and sinful. But I'm the one showered and well rested...and he's the one shivering and hungry sleeping on the ground."

Though the fact that we live in a broken world is obvious, sometimes we look past it. Ok, alot of times we look past it. We too often have thoughts of intimidation towards our world that needs God's love. "That problem is too big for me. What could I give? What would it help?"

And this is where our faith in God takes a backseat to the insecurities that plague our minds. We need to remember that we are fully resourced to do everything God has called us to do.

I can do all this through Him who gives me strength...Philippians 4:13

It's time that we stop selling Christ for silver. It's time we as the church start changing the world, instead of allowing the world to change the church.

The solution?

Do what we can to minister with compassion and relevance.

Be in the Word everyday. Not when it's convenient. Not when we are exhausted at the end of a long day. Not fitting it in for thirty minutes before we spend an hour on facebook.
Be in the Word.

When we drown ourselves in the Word of God we can better understand the clear biblical vision of God and what He wants done. We need to return to the Biblical vision of righteousness, justice, love and compassion.

We need to show compassion to the victims of tragedy. To be compassionate to the victims of a selfish and materialistic society. The unlovely. The failures. The poor. The homeless. The handicapped. The unwanted children and the forgotten elderly. We need to continually be in prayer. Our hearts need to break for that which breaks His. And we can only do this with the word compassion in mind and on our hearts.

To be compassionate must come with a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. And there is something we all can do. Today.

Each one of us comes across someone each and everyday. Someone that is hurting. Someone who is alone and feeling unloved. Someone who has the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Give.
Give of your resources in some way. Time, money, whatever. It doesn't have to be alot. I think we get intimidated because we think that the something little we give is just that. Little. When in all reality, something little of yours is usually something huge to someone else.

Pray for them.
And I don't mean pray for them when you get home at night or when it is convenient. Let me challenge you...

Dig a little deeper. Approach them. Ask them how they are. How they really are. Ask if you can pray with them. The woman in front of you in line at Starbucks who just dropped her drink on the ground. The co-worker you have noticed coming into work looking exhausted and beaten down. The clerk at the gas station that looks lost. Scary? It can be. But remember, you aren't asking them to get too far out of their comfort zone. You aren't asking them to come to church. You aren't asking them for an offering. You aren't asking them to join a small group and bring a dessert.

Listen to where God is leading you today. Who does He want to reach through you? You never know what struggles that person is going through and what cross they are carrying. They may have just asked God for help...and He is trying to use you. Let Him. Surrender yourself to Him each and everyday. See where He can use you and your compassion.

So let's open our hearts, open our ears, and open our mouths to speak the Word of God to ourselves and to others.

Let's get out of our comfort zone.

Christmas Music...

I love it...listen to it all year without apology.

One of my favorite songs is "O Come All Ye Faithful," and the memories I have from it. I remember standing in my church growing up at midnight mass singing this song...and of course, A Very Brady Christmas where Mike got stuck in the building...circa 1988.

What's your favorite Christmas song?

Still amazed by God

There are moments where I am absolutely amazed by God. Amazed by His timing, His plan that is unfolding, and His love. Last night was one of those nights. To recreate it would be impossible. The small group that I lead is made up of some of the most genuine Godly women I know. I have always known that this particular group was different. Though one has moved and we miss her terribly, we have managed to remain closer than I thought possible. After inviting a few new girls, the joy in my heart was palpable. I can't explain it. I knew that God had placed these new women in my life for a reason, and I was ridiculously excited to get to know them.

It didn't take Him long to reveal it.

They all had issues they were working through in their lives. Health concerns, work, babies, and last night we found out cancer.

2 weeks ago, we didn't know her. 2 weeks ago, she wasn't sure if she wanted to meet us. 2 weeks ago, she was rocking her 8 month old son to sleep praying she would beat this horrid disease.

2 weeks ago, she came to group and knew God was calling to her. 2 weeks ago, she realized this was where she was meant to be. 2 weeks ago, she found sisters in Christ to pray with and help support her through this season.

Lord, You are the great I Am, and Your name is written as the author of all there is. You are the only true God and You are faithful to all You have made and all You have promised.

I lift up these women Lord, before Your great throne of grace and present their needs before You. I speak to them now as a servant of the Most High God and say "God is faithful, God is faithful, God is faithful." Lord I ask that You would ring their ears with that phrase today.

God is faithful.

Let it be a wall of truth that towers above the lies that stalk their peace.

Lord, let Your strength and protection be tangible to them today, and cause their hearts to rest.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

I Believe...

In God. That He created all things, is good, and deserves our praise.
In a good pair of jeans paired with a good pair of heels.
In walking through the rustling leaves on a crisp autumn day.
In love.
In Jesus...that He is my Lord and Savior.
In the medicine a good friend can give you by the simpleness of a conversation.
In family.
In the Bible.
In Jesus, and that He died so I might live.
In popcorn and Raisinettes at a movie.
In forgiveness.
In God's promise.
In the joy of catching fireflies.
In endless possibilities when you have a good hair day.
In the sweetness of a puppy's kiss.
In serving others.
In bubble baths filled with the scent of lavender.
In the tenderness of a baby sleeping in your arms.
In relationships, not religion.

be•lieve

Verb:
be•lieved, be•liev•ing, be•lieves

1. To accept as true or real
2. To credit with veracity
3. To have firm faith
4. To have confidence in the truth or value of something.


What do you believe in?

Thanks Mom...

I just had an hour long conversation about Hydrangea's and soil...and I can guarantee that all of the knowledge that came from my mouth was not my doing. She taught me well! Now, I just have to figure out how to not kill the plants that she taught me so much about...

Caught in the Act

Have you ever pretended to think one thing while really believing something else? At one time or another most of us have tacitly agreed with a persuasive person simply by failing to disagree. Or we've looked the other way or nodded knowingly while a red flag went up in our minds. It's a difficult and even dangerous balancing act attempting to please people on both sides of a controversial fence. The only way to avoid such a position is to decide which side of the fence really matters...and then get down from the fence and take a stand.

While reading 1 Kings 18...we hear of the prophet Elijah...who really was an amazing man. He found himself among men who were setting the standards for Israel...that honestly weren't always great standards. And because of this low standard, the people had nothing to rise up to.

The prophet Elijah confronted the people of his day and demanded they choose whom they would serve - the true God of Israel or the false gods of the pagan nations surrounding them. He dared them...might as well have been a triple dog dare, "Get off the fence! You can't have it both ways. Either live your lives in a way that is pleasing to the one God...or not."

Elijah went before the people and said, "How long will you waiver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow Him, but if Baal is God, follow him..." 1 Kings 18:21

Most of us have never been put in a position in which we had to choose between worshiping the true God or bowing down to statues made of wood. Yet we often find ourselves tempted to try that balancing act while living in a spiritually and morally bankrupt culture. We compromise our lifestyles, going to places or doing things we really know we shouldn't. We justify our behavior by saying we don't want to offend anyone. Or we neglect to say the things we know we should and then excuse ourselves by saying we will let our faith be seen in our actions rather than heard in our words. At times these may be legitimate claims, but at other times they may be nothing more than convenient excuses so we don't have to risk rejection. Because that's what we're really afraid of. Rejection.

Elijah wasn't concerned with rejection when he challenged the false prophets and called the people to serve the true God. He put it all on the line - even his life. The prophet refused to compromise or put himself in the precarious position of riding the fence, as a result, God vindicated him in the sight of his enemies. He was caught in the act of standing up for God.

Caught in the act. Elijah was caught in the act of standing up for God. What have you made a priority in your life? What are you worshiping? How is He trying to turn your heart?

What is He catching you in the act doing?

Lord, You are the sovereign God over all creation. In You we live and move and have our being. Every breath we take is a gift of grace from You. Apart from You we can do nothing, and all power is in the palm of Your hand.

I lift up the people in Haiti, and I ask that You would deliver them from envy and vengeance. Break the cycle of wickedness that perpetuates itself through anger. Give them the grace to let offenses go, and stamp a spirit of forgiveness on their hearts.

I speak to the people of influence in Haiti in Jesus name, “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him, do not become angry when wicked schemes succeed. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.”

“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret — it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.” -Psalms 37:7-9

Got Daddy Issues?

We all do at some time or another. In a perfect world, our fathers would always be knights in shining armor, rescue us when we need it, and never let us down. We have a certain expectation for the way our relationship with our fathers should be. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Most of the women I know are or have been hurt, let down, or just plain angry with and at their fathers. My heart breaks as I reflect on their stories of betrayal and pain. Addictions, abuse, affairs, divorce, abandonment...the list is long and the hurts are deep.

So what's so hazardous about these expectations?

Expectation:

1. the act or the state of expecting: to wait in expectation
2. the act or state of looking forward or anticipating

To wait in expectation.

Is it normal to expect certain things of our fathers? Absolutely.
Is it always fair? Not even close.

What comes to mind when you think of what you expect out of a father?

To show us what it is like to be somebody's favorite.
To make the complex simple and the painful bearable.
To join you on your journey when you are too afraid to walk alone.
To tell you truthfully that you are the most beautiful of all.
To teach you that you can forgive more than once.
To show you how it feels to be loved unselfishly.
To learn what we should expect from a husband.
To hold us as we cry.
To teach us that a man's strength is not the force of his hand or his voice, but the kindness of his heart.
To set a moral standard for her.
To show her that true love is unconditional.
A daughter needs a father who will let her know that while she may not be the center of someone else's world, she is the center of His.

How do those sound to you? What you want and expected? What your father didn't or couldn't give to you? If that's your situation...it can be easy to project our feelings about our earthly father onto our heavenly Father. If we have had issues with our fathers here on earth, sometimes we can think that our heavenly Father will turn out the same.
But God is not like our dad. He won't let us down or disappoint. We need to constantly be reminded of the character of God through His word.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life...John 3:16

He loves us that much. And wants to share that love with you. He longs to show you that you are His favorite. That He will always walk with you and never leave you alone. He thinks you are beautiful and yearns for you to believe it. He wants to comfort your soul.

A daughter needs a Father who will let her know that while she may not be the center of someone else's world, she is the center of His.

You...exactly where you are right now...however your hair looks...with dishes in the sink...with the thoughts of temptations in your head...are the center of His heart.

You are the center of His heart.

More Than Words

Beads of perspiration form on your brow, your heart flutters, your mind swims. An endless loop replays in your head: the screaming argument with your mother; the temptations that you've tried your best to overcome that day; a schedule so full you can't calm your thoughts enough to fall asleep at night.

You've probably been there at some point in your life. You rush before God like an eager child bursting into a room full of toys only to find that you have no idea how to begin to pray. You don't know if you should be asking for guidance, protection or forgiveness - or all of the above. And what about how to prioritize your list?

Maybe you've finally got a minute to yourself, so you grab your Bible, look up at the ceiling and think, Now what? That list you've been building in your mind goes blank. The phone rings. The kids cry. The tv blares from another room. The dog barks. Anything...everything interrupts the moment.

How do you pray when words fail?

Enter the Holy Spirit. He perceives our heart's agony and comforts us in our weakness. He knows our spiritual battle often burns hottest when we fight within ourselves. We wrestle with how to prioritize our prayers. We struggle with imposing our human agendas on a holy God. We cross our arms, grit our teeth and mentally (sometimes physically!) stomp our feet when things don't turn out as we desperately prayed they would. Life's frustrations can mute us spiritually.

We do not know what we ought to pray for...Romans 8:26

But God does not stop hearing us when we're dumbstruck before Him. Both in silence and when our words flow in a jumbled torrent, the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf to the Father.

He knows what to pray for.

So the next time your spirit groans with a weight heavier than you can bear, trust that even when you might not be able to find the words, God clearly hears your cries through the intervention of the Holy Spirit. He knows your heart. He knows your thoughts. He knows your greatest needs better than you do yourself. And though your words may fail, your intercessor will never fail you.


In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. Romans 8:26-27

The lies we believe...

During staff prayer yesterday...Pastor Kurt talked about the lies of the devil that we all too often believe. Lies that creep in slowly...quietly...conniving. Lies that are easier to listen to and believe when we are tired, stressed, hungry, overworked.

When do you feel the devil attacking you?

Then he asked us to name 2 lies that are easy for us to believe...and find scripture as an antidote.

My two lies were:

1. I am not worthy of God's love

2. I am not forgiven.

Both of those I feel can go back to acceptance and comparing myself to others. Feeling like I am not worthy of God's love...not worthy of love from others...because I am not good enough. Not good enough because I am really not forgiven. How in the world could the God of the universe love me? How could He love me knowing all of the bad that I've done...knowing that I knew right from wrong most of the time and still committed my sins? Feeling like I am not forgiven for those sins. There are plenty of other people who have done way less...how could He possibly want to forgive me? How could He possibly want me?

But He does...and it says it in Isaiah 43:25...
I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more...

And in Romans 8:1...
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus...

Then in 2 Corinthians 5:17-21...
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

The master plan of the enemy is to separate us from others, ourselves, and from God. He has worked hard down through the generations to sow hurt, trauma, deception and every sinful reaction he could into us.

Something that I learned from P.F...when I start to feel the weight of satans lies creeping into my head is saying, "So what."

"You aren't good enough." So what? My God makes me good enough.
"You don't have the skills to do that job." So what? My God will equip me.
"You can't handle that situation." So what? My God will be with me every step.
"You're not strong enough." You're right. I'm not...but so what? He is. And He is enough.

Whatever your 'lie' is...follow by saying, "You're right...but so what!"

Singleness....the disease....

This past weekend Dr. Terry Thomas preached on "Things we want more of: Love." Last week was "Things we want more of: Time," which I am still letting sink in...considering that five minutes after he got done, I was impatiently staring at the woman next to me wondering when she was going to get up for communion.


He started with some famous love songs...

Here in your arms I found my paradise
My only chance for happiness
And if I lose you now I think I would die
You're more than a woman to me...


Talk about alot to live up to. Paradise? My only chance for happiness? Apparently the writer of that song never ventured to Target.

Pastor Terry talked about 2 myths that we can misguidedly have:


1. I need this other person to fulfill my needs.

2. If this person needs me, I will feel complete.

Have you ever found yourself feeling like this? That the other person you are with is your entire being...and without them, you aren't happy? I have. And although you rarely see it like that when you are going through it, it's pretty easy to do. Pretty selfish too. While making attempts to try to complete yourself through another person, you become extremely selfish and end up defeating the purpose for which you began the relationship in the first place.

I was sitting there...in the safety of my third row seat...trying to recall all of the relationships I had been in. Going through my own little relationship autopsy. Wondering if I had been guilty of this in some, if not all of them. Guilty of starting too fast. Guilty of putting aside what God was trying to show me. Guilty of putting aside the other persons shortcomings. Guilty of taking my singleness into my own hands, rather than enjoying the season I am in. I was talking with a friend the other day about our singleness...and how hard this wedding season was for her. She had dealt with the many questions that we all get..."Why aren't you dating anyone?" "Why aren't you married?" "Don't you want to be married and have a family?" "There's plenty of guys out there to date" and my personal favorite..."Aren't you getting a little old?"

The anticipation of those questions can make any single girl run for the hills.

Just like the myths Pastor Terry talked about, society can have those same myths about being single. Society (and by society I mean your Aunt Ellie at your cousins wedding) can seem to think that unless we are dating or married, we are unfulfilled. That we are not complete.

P.T. referenced a book called "Relationships" by Dr. Leslie Parrott. In it they talk about a 4 step process to making sure you are ready for a relationship, and are getting into one with the right mindset.

• Healing your own hurts
• Taking off the mask
• Sit in the drivers seat
• Turn to rely on God

In healing our own hurts, it's important that we take inventory of our own baggage and brokenness. Everyone has hurts from our past. To quote Pastor Steven: "You're screwed up and I'm screwed up." We're all messed up. The challenge is to heal those hurts and not carry them into a future relationship.

Taking off the mask. Sounds pretty scary, huh? It definitely can be. Letting others in to see the real you not only means being vulnerable; it also means that in order to show others the real you, you first must know who the real you is. It's so amusing to me when I hear about couples that got married early or quickly...only to find out later that that person changed. That person didn't change. You simply did not know who they were. They also might not have known who they were at the time which is why it's so vital that we continue to take courtship and dating seriously. How easy is it to get to know someone? Pretty easy...if you are asking the right questions. How often are you asking the right questions if you are jumping into the physical intimacy of a relationship quickly? Not often is my guess. We as Godly women have got to be firm on this! Set the boundaries and guidelines right away. Let them know exactly what you are looking for and what you will not do. Not only because you want to get to know them, but because we are called to obey God's commands.

Which leads to the third point: Sit in the drivers seat. This can only come with time spent alone and full knowledge of where you are and who you are as a child of God. You've got to know the plan for your life. A plan that includes following God's word and living it. Ever hear the phrase, "If you don't know what you stand for, you'll fall for anything?" That applies here. If you don't know what it is you are willing to fight for, you could be talked into just about anything. Know what you stand for, what is important to you, and don't compromise. God doesn't direct us to compromise.

Turn to rely on God. When we come to the understanding that we are no longer 'out of Christ' (in the dark, lost, dead) but 'in Christ' (in the light, saved, alive), our identity is set. We no longer have to question who we are. We are loved unconditionally by the Creator of the universe who sent His only begotten Son to the world so that we may live through Him 1 John 4:9. When we know that our identity is in Christ, we find a restoration through God's love. That love allows us to take off our mask and sit in the drivers seat.

Sitting in the drivers seat looks a little something like this for me.

I know who I am.

I am...

God's child...For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God 1 Peter 1:23

Forgiven...In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace Ephesians 1:7

Delivered...For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the Kingdom of the Son He loves Colossians 1:13

Strong...Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty plan Ephesians 6:10

Complete...And you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority Colossians 2:10

Does any of this make it any less lonely? Does it make it any easier to watch a romantic movie or struggle to keep your thoughts on God during a wedding? No way. But I am resting in the faith that the Lord of creation...the Maker of the heavens and earth...knows my hearts desire. He knows every hair on my head, and certainly knows what I am looking for in a husband. My job now is to listen to Him. Let Him guide my steps, and continue to bask in His words and glory. When I am ready, He will bring it to light. Do I think I was called to be single? Yes. Today, I am called to be single. I cannot say about tomorrow.

And to that pesky little question that all us single girls hear way too often, "Why aren't you married?"

Maybe the correct answer would be, "The reason I am not married today is so that the work of God might be displayed in my life."

Acknowledging Anger With God

Today's guest post by Maggie...and I'm so glad she did. Some really amazing insight that I know is important for us all to hear...and feel our way through.

Several wise people in my life, along with me noticing a rather draining and sad pattern in my walk with Christ, keep pointing to one thing: I'm angry with God.

But every time I've arrived at this conclusion, whether by myself or by someone who loves me, I sit and think, "Ok, so I exhibit all the signs of someone who is angry with/at God...I don't feel any anger. Why would I be angry? Who am I to be angry against the Creator and Sustainer of the universe? No, I'm not angry. I've just been lazy in doing my part. Shame on me."

So I write it off, and with my ever famous (and often destructive) attitude of self-well, I continue down the path, only to get distracted and frustrated again a short time later.

Today, while reading a book called "Embracing Biblical Love" by Nancy Groom, the author boldly shares a recent journal entry of hers, in which she realized what anger with God really looked like. It stopped me dead in my tracks. The bold is my emphasis, not the authors, as an indicator of where it really hit home.

"My anger against God doesn't feel like I thought it would. I thought I'd feel deep rage and an overwhelming desire to hurt Him. Instead I find just a deep complaint, a nagging self-pity, a free-floating dissatisfaction with life and relationships, a quiet conviction that I deserve something better, a profound absence of genuine gratitude for God's gifts, a deep belief that I don't need a Savior (I've done quite well at living the Christian life without much help from God or anyone else), and an appalling lack of love for inner connectedness with God. That angry arrogance shrouds my soul and I am helpless to remove it. If God does not break in, I am undone. I can only ask-petition-beg for grace...and at the same time wonder whether I even want or need it. How profound my rage must be! Deep within is a core of hardness and self-sufficiency, an inner stronghold of resistance to grace that frustrates me as surely as it must grieve the Father. Whatever it is, I love its safety more than I want God right now."

Wow. While what Groom has to share does not solve my problems, there is freedom in finding someone else's words that explain thoughts and feelings that so profoundly summarize what I couldn't express. The conviction was heavy, but God's love for me in revealing my sad state couldn't have come at a more perfect time. His time. Lately I've been trying to fix it. With people, things, and places. With reading the Bible more, with gossiping less, with trying to be a better friend, with entertaining myself through hobbies and interests.

Yet when I finally broke down in my grueling state of frustrated prayers, when my self sufficiency again ran out of fuel, and I cried out that I didn't know why I didn't love and want God more, He heard the scared, lonely child who just wanted to find her way back Home; and I heard a Father who had long since been waiting to show me the way.

I thought you might appreciate this because as a woman in today's culture, it is often drilled into us that we do have to be everything to everyone, and that we can only really depend on our own strength and ability to get it done! The message that "self sufficiency is the only sure way" is all too prevalent in our culture, and when waiting on God doesn't yield the results we want right away, it's an easy lie to buy! I thought you might appreciate the reminder and live today in the freedom of knowing it's ok to not be enough, because Jesus is. And it's ok to not have it all figured out either, because He will guide you if you seek Him.

Praying that He gives you the strength and conviction to keep you moving forward in your relationship with Him, while having the patience to wait on Him at the same time, no matter how crazy or broken things may seem.

Believing

Father, thank You for Your mighty promises. Your Word is a lamp unto my feet. Like Peter walking on the water, I want to step out on Your Word and stand above the circumstances around me. I am sorry for the times I have allowed the concerns of this world speak louder to me, than the truth of Your Word. I choose right now to align myself with Your Word, trusting in Your faithfulness. I hold up Your mighty promises and Your commandments as the standard of my life.

I thank You that, "Not one of Your good promises has ever failed." I proclaim my complete trust in Your promises and my obedience to Your commands. I pray as King David did, "Oh that my ways may be established To keep Thy statutes!" Strengthen my faith, Lord, that I might honor You as I stand on Your promises.

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12

Not one of the good promises which the Lord had made to the house of Israel failed; all came to pass.
Joshua 21:45

For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, in order that by them you might become partakers of divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust.
2 Peter 1:4

Have you been concerned with the things of this world lately?

Turn your thoughts to Him. Thank Him for His promises and faithfulness.

They are everlasting.

My Date With Slick

I had a date tonight.

He was tall, strong, protective, and took me to see the most beautiful view I've seen in a long time.

His friends call him Slick.

Oh, did I mention? He's a horse. I was so excited...it's been quite a few years since I had been riding. A good friend has been going for a few weeks now, and I finally found some time to join her! I got to the farm...and they introduced me to Slick. We saddled up and headed off...with no guide. They assured us the horses pretty much knew their way through the woods, and if not, they would be along in a bit to find us. Sounds assuring, huh? So, Forbes and Slick carried us into the woods and up the mountain. It was so beautiful out...a cool 75 degrees...the sun was starting to sink in the sky...and nothing but us, our horses, and nature.

I realized pretty quickly that Slick had a mind of his own. He had no desire to follow my lead...nor my desired pace. Needless to say, it was a slow start. We had lots of distractions due to the fact that Slick really didn't want to do anything but take his good old time. I'm quite positive that both Forbes and Slick knew that there wasn't a guide with us. They knew they could practically get away with anything.

We started up the mountain and were trying to lead them to the right. They went left. We eventully made it to the top and came upon a huge clearing. They are trained...and I use the word 'trained' lightly...to get to the top, go down the path around the bottom, and run back to the clearing. This would be the moment that Slick decided the last thing he wanted to do was run. He wanted to eat the grass and flowers in front of him. I guess his free time out of the barn was too much to pass up.

I reluctantly got him to the path and we started back to the point where he was supposed to run. I kicked him hard and he took off. For about 5 feet. Slick just didn't want to do what I wanted him to. He was grumpy and digging his feet in. Literally. After a few times around that path...Slick had had enough. Then the guides arrived with another group, and proceeded to inform me that Slick was indeed grumpy and is known for biting and kicking other horses.

Ten minutes later...he bit Forbes.

On the way down the mountain...Forbes was ready to get away from us. So it was just me, Slick, and the deer crossing our path. It was so peaceful and relaxing...to be taking in all of the beauty around me. Being so grateful for God's gifts that surrounded me. Everything was so simple. At that moment I was more convinced that this was where I needed to be. Away from the city...away from the business of it all. Somewhere that life was simple. Somewhere that I could take in true nature everyday. And all of a sudden...the peace I had been longing for came.

Just like Slick, I had been having a rough few days. There were definitely some people I wanted to 'bite,' but I got through it. With lots of time in the Good Book, heartfelt prayers from friends, and some alone time with Slick. By the end of our date, I was serenading him with some Jesus.

I think he even smiled.

Wipeout

After some laughs and catch up on the phone, a very good friend of mine and I were talking about God's timing. About letting go of control. And I said, "You know, sometimes I think that by me saying I am letting go of my control, I'm actually trying to fake God out. You know, it's like saying, 'Hey God...I know You're in control...so you don't have to give me that job right there...because I know You're in control...but it would be really great if I got it. Look!! I've let go of my control!'"

Have you ever tried to fake God out? Have you prayed for patience during a time of waiting to only find yourself more impatient?

These two go hand in hand for me. I am a pretty big control freak. Ask anyone. I am always early; I plan everything; I have the Mary Poppins purse; I pack for vacation a week ahead of time; I could live out of the trunk of my car for a month. But, have I ever really looked at my sometimes trying to fake God out and getting impatient from His point of view? When I am waiting on God, do I realize that He is waiting on me?

Isaiah captured this thought...
Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious unto you.. Isaiah 30:18

The timing of God's blessing is always perfect. He knows when we are spiritually ready to receive the blessing that He prepares for us. He knows what each of our lives needs and when we need it. He knows when our spiritual life requires the sunshine of His love. He knows too when we need a cloud of trial to cause us to cling more nearly to Him. Both sunshine and cloud bring blessings that are treasures for us.

Knowing that He waits to bless us...brings about hope. Hope that as long as we continue to strive for His will in all we do, He will pour out His blessings.

We wait in hope for the Lord. Psalms 33:20

Part of the problem of giving up that control...is giving up trying to fix it on our own. Ever watch the show Wipeout? I picture God watching us try and go through life on our own sometimes...and...well, you get the idea. People have a natural tendency to want to fix and do things on their own. And I think that men have a harder time with this than women. I have found that most times when I find myself pouring my heart out to someone, the automatic response from a man is to try and fix it. When all you really want is someone to listen. About 98% of the time, I just want someone to listen. About 98% of the time, they try to fix the problem. When we find ourselves involved in a problem, it's natural to want to do the following:

1. Seek out the best counsel
2. Try the best treatments
3. Pay the highest price for answers

When in all reality, we should be running toward God. Why is it sometimes that God is the last one we consult?

Having to wait on God forces us into submission to His will and timing.

He lets us exhaust all of our resources and energies until the only hope we have left is rest in His will and His plan. Sometimes it's easy to be impatient, but I have found that even though His answer isn't always in our controlled time frame, or alot of times the answer we wanted, it ends up being a sweeter one than we could have ever imagined.

Red Envelope

Do you all know about this website?? It's really fantastic, speedy, and arrives gift wrapped! Check it out here...

I recently sent a birthday present...that for some reason was seen as a 'murse.' For the record, it was NOT a murse.

Consider...

As I was driving the other day to Target...because I really don't go anywhere else...I was cut off by a very anxious driver. I could feel my hands tense and my body get heated, and my first instinct was to start screaming! But I didn't. I took a breath, relaxed, and realized that the only person who was going to be harmed by my bad reaction was me. I chose to focus on something else. And then I started thinking that one of the most remarkable capacities of the human mind is to direct its own attention to something it chooses. We can pause and say to our minds, "Think about this, and not that."

We can focus our attention on an idea or a picture or a problem or a hope. Talk about an amazing power! Such a gift from God...part of His image in us. And it's an immensely powerful means of our becoming what we ought to be. Although this wonderful gift is instilled in us, it's difficult at times to use. Have you been ignoring this great weapon against sin? The Bible calls us again and again to use it...so let's start taking it out, shining it up and put it to use!

Paul says in Romans 8:5-6, “Those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, [set their minds on] the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.”

What you set your mind on determines whether the issue is life or death.

I think that we have become far too passive in our pursuit of change and wholeness and peace. I fear that in today's society we have fallen into the passive mindset of simply “talking through our problems” or “dealing with our issues” or “discovering the roots of our brokenness in our family of origin.” As great as these may be, I feel that we tend to slip into a passive way of thinking about change—that it may come to me one of these days as I “talk through” my problems. Coming to it one of these days just isn't good enough. It takes practice, determination, and a will to want to change. God is here for you. He wants you to be better, whole, changed, and at peace. But you've got to focus your mind to get there.

“Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth” Colossians 3:2

“Enemies of the cross,” Paul says, “set their minds in earthly things” Philippians 3:19

Our emotions are controlled so much by what we consider - what we dwell on with our minds. Jesus told us to overcome the emotion of anxiety by what we consider:
“Consider the ravens … Consider the lilies” Luke 12:24, 27

Your mind is the window into your heart. What happens if we constantly think about things that are dark? Our heart feels dark. But if we open the window of our minds to the light, our heart will feel the light.

“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8

Above all, this great capacity of our minds to focus and consider is meant for considering Jesus.

“Holy brethren, partakers of a heavenly calling, consider Jesus … Consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you may not grow weary and lose heart” Hebrews 3:1; 12:3

Let's learn not to be passive with our minds...

Baseball Gloves and Dad

Last week I visited my Dad in Wheeling. His girlfriend's son, Max, had a baseball game. Max is the team catcher, and as any kid can be, a little forgetful at times. We got to the game...he climbed out of the car and ran to the dugout. My Dad and I were standing at the fence, catching up and talking about the game...when he looked at me and said, "Why is Max in the outfield with no glove?" So we walked over to the dugout, and proceeded to ask where his glove was. Max had forgot it. He had no clue where it was. It wasn't in his bag or in the car. The other team had heard what was going on, and their coaches came over to try and help...giving Max a glove to try. He had quite a few gloves to pick from...but he didn't want any of them. He wanted his glove. He didn't want to change...and would rather not play, than to accept the new glove. After some good old fashioned coaxing by my Dad, Max picked a glove (that he swore was too big) and a few minutes later, he was on the field. Playing with his new glove. The one that he was certain wouldn't work and was too big. But my Dad was there...nudging him along...trying to show him that there would be something that he would be missing out on if he didn't accept this new glove. This change. And he was right! Max played awesome and had so much fun...but I'd like to think he also learned a lesson. The same lesson that we all need to learn. Change isn't fun. Trying new things can be scary. Leaving jobs and people is most of the time down right sad and frightening. But when we do those things...there are new and exciting experiences to be had. Experiences that we would have otherwise missed out on. Just like my Dad was trying to teach Max this lesson...our Father is also wanting us to learn it. Nudging us along the way...wanting us to see that there is more than we can fathom waiting for us if we'd only take a leap and make a change. I'd like to think that Max learned this lesson. And hopefully the lesson of not forgetting your beloved glove.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Happy Father's Day to the man that is my hero...

Can't get enough...

Of this song...

Draw Me Nearer - Meredith Andrews

For Your nearness, Lord, I hunger

For Your nearness, Lord, I wait

Hold me ever closer Father

With such a love I can't escape

For Your nearness I am hoping

For Your nearness, Lord, I long

I have no need of any other

I have found where I belong

I have found where I belong

So draw me nearer, Lord

Never let me go

Closer to Your heart

Draw me nearer, Lord

Draw me nearer, Lord

In Your nearness there is healing

What was broken now made whole

Restoration in its fullness

Lasting hope for all who come

In Your nearness I take shelter

Where You are is where I'm home

I have need of only one thing

To be here before Your throne

To be here before Your throne

So draw me nearer, Lord

Never let me go

Closer to Your heart

Draw me nearer, Lord

Keep me here

Keep me here

There's nowhere else I'd rather be

So draw me nearer, Lord

Never let me go

Closer to Your heart

Draw me nearer, Lord