Christmas Music...

I love it...listen to it all year without apology.

One of my favorite songs is "O Come All Ye Faithful," and the memories I have from it. I remember standing in my church growing up at midnight mass singing this song...and of course, A Very Brady Christmas where Mike got stuck in the building...circa 1988.

What's your favorite Christmas song?

Still amazed by God

There are moments where I am absolutely amazed by God. Amazed by His timing, His plan that is unfolding, and His love. Last night was one of those nights. To recreate it would be impossible. The small group that I lead is made up of some of the most genuine Godly women I know. I have always known that this particular group was different. Though one has moved and we miss her terribly, we have managed to remain closer than I thought possible. After inviting a few new girls, the joy in my heart was palpable. I can't explain it. I knew that God had placed these new women in my life for a reason, and I was ridiculously excited to get to know them.

It didn't take Him long to reveal it.

They all had issues they were working through in their lives. Health concerns, work, babies, and last night we found out cancer.

2 weeks ago, we didn't know her. 2 weeks ago, she wasn't sure if she wanted to meet us. 2 weeks ago, she was rocking her 8 month old son to sleep praying she would beat this horrid disease.

2 weeks ago, she came to group and knew God was calling to her. 2 weeks ago, she realized this was where she was meant to be. 2 weeks ago, she found sisters in Christ to pray with and help support her through this season.

Lord, You are the great I Am, and Your name is written as the author of all there is. You are the only true God and You are faithful to all You have made and all You have promised.

I lift up these women Lord, before Your great throne of grace and present their needs before You. I speak to them now as a servant of the Most High God and say "God is faithful, God is faithful, God is faithful." Lord I ask that You would ring their ears with that phrase today.

God is faithful.

Let it be a wall of truth that towers above the lies that stalk their peace.

Lord, let Your strength and protection be tangible to them today, and cause their hearts to rest.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

I Believe...

In God. That He created all things, is good, and deserves our praise.
In a good pair of jeans paired with a good pair of heels.
In walking through the rustling leaves on a crisp autumn day.
In love.
In Jesus...that He is my Lord and Savior.
In the medicine a good friend can give you by the simpleness of a conversation.
In family.
In the Bible.
In Jesus, and that He died so I might live.
In popcorn and Raisinettes at a movie.
In forgiveness.
In God's promise.
In the joy of catching fireflies.
In endless possibilities when you have a good hair day.
In the sweetness of a puppy's kiss.
In serving others.
In bubble baths filled with the scent of lavender.
In the tenderness of a baby sleeping in your arms.
In relationships, not religion.

be•lieve

Verb:
be•lieved, be•liev•ing, be•lieves

1. To accept as true or real
2. To credit with veracity
3. To have firm faith
4. To have confidence in the truth or value of something.


What do you believe in?

Thanks Mom...

I just had an hour long conversation about Hydrangea's and soil...and I can guarantee that all of the knowledge that came from my mouth was not my doing. She taught me well! Now, I just have to figure out how to not kill the plants that she taught me so much about...

Caught in the Act

Have you ever pretended to think one thing while really believing something else? At one time or another most of us have tacitly agreed with a persuasive person simply by failing to disagree. Or we've looked the other way or nodded knowingly while a red flag went up in our minds. It's a difficult and even dangerous balancing act attempting to please people on both sides of a controversial fence. The only way to avoid such a position is to decide which side of the fence really matters...and then get down from the fence and take a stand.

While reading 1 Kings 18...we hear of the prophet Elijah...who really was an amazing man. He found himself among men who were setting the standards for Israel...that honestly weren't always great standards. And because of this low standard, the people had nothing to rise up to.

The prophet Elijah confronted the people of his day and demanded they choose whom they would serve - the true God of Israel or the false gods of the pagan nations surrounding them. He dared them...might as well have been a triple dog dare, "Get off the fence! You can't have it both ways. Either live your lives in a way that is pleasing to the one God...or not."

Elijah went before the people and said, "How long will you waiver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow Him, but if Baal is God, follow him..." 1 Kings 18:21

Most of us have never been put in a position in which we had to choose between worshiping the true God or bowing down to statues made of wood. Yet we often find ourselves tempted to try that balancing act while living in a spiritually and morally bankrupt culture. We compromise our lifestyles, going to places or doing things we really know we shouldn't. We justify our behavior by saying we don't want to offend anyone. Or we neglect to say the things we know we should and then excuse ourselves by saying we will let our faith be seen in our actions rather than heard in our words. At times these may be legitimate claims, but at other times they may be nothing more than convenient excuses so we don't have to risk rejection. Because that's what we're really afraid of. Rejection.

Elijah wasn't concerned with rejection when he challenged the false prophets and called the people to serve the true God. He put it all on the line - even his life. The prophet refused to compromise or put himself in the precarious position of riding the fence, as a result, God vindicated him in the sight of his enemies. He was caught in the act of standing up for God.

Caught in the act. Elijah was caught in the act of standing up for God. What have you made a priority in your life? What are you worshiping? How is He trying to turn your heart?

What is He catching you in the act doing?

Lord, You are the sovereign God over all creation. In You we live and move and have our being. Every breath we take is a gift of grace from You. Apart from You we can do nothing, and all power is in the palm of Your hand.

I lift up the people in Haiti, and I ask that You would deliver them from envy and vengeance. Break the cycle of wickedness that perpetuates itself through anger. Give them the grace to let offenses go, and stamp a spirit of forgiveness on their hearts.

I speak to the people of influence in Haiti in Jesus name, “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him, do not become angry when wicked schemes succeed. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.”

“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret — it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.” -Psalms 37:7-9

Got Daddy Issues?

We all do at some time or another. In a perfect world, our fathers would always be knights in shining armor, rescue us when we need it, and never let us down. We have a certain expectation for the way our relationship with our fathers should be. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Most of the women I know are or have been hurt, let down, or just plain angry with and at their fathers. My heart breaks as I reflect on their stories of betrayal and pain. Addictions, abuse, affairs, divorce, abandonment...the list is long and the hurts are deep.

So what's so hazardous about these expectations?

Expectation:

1. the act or the state of expecting: to wait in expectation
2. the act or state of looking forward or anticipating

To wait in expectation.

Is it normal to expect certain things of our fathers? Absolutely.
Is it always fair? Not even close.

What comes to mind when you think of what you expect out of a father?

To show us what it is like to be somebody's favorite.
To make the complex simple and the painful bearable.
To join you on your journey when you are too afraid to walk alone.
To tell you truthfully that you are the most beautiful of all.
To teach you that you can forgive more than once.
To show you how it feels to be loved unselfishly.
To learn what we should expect from a husband.
To hold us as we cry.
To teach us that a man's strength is not the force of his hand or his voice, but the kindness of his heart.
To set a moral standard for her.
To show her that true love is unconditional.
A daughter needs a father who will let her know that while she may not be the center of someone else's world, she is the center of His.

How do those sound to you? What you want and expected? What your father didn't or couldn't give to you? If that's your situation...it can be easy to project our feelings about our earthly father onto our heavenly Father. If we have had issues with our fathers here on earth, sometimes we can think that our heavenly Father will turn out the same.
But God is not like our dad. He won't let us down or disappoint. We need to constantly be reminded of the character of God through His word.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life...John 3:16

He loves us that much. And wants to share that love with you. He longs to show you that you are His favorite. That He will always walk with you and never leave you alone. He thinks you are beautiful and yearns for you to believe it. He wants to comfort your soul.

A daughter needs a Father who will let her know that while she may not be the center of someone else's world, she is the center of His.

You...exactly where you are right now...however your hair looks...with dishes in the sink...with the thoughts of temptations in your head...are the center of His heart.

You are the center of His heart.

More Than Words

Beads of perspiration form on your brow, your heart flutters, your mind swims. An endless loop replays in your head: the screaming argument with your mother; the temptations that you've tried your best to overcome that day; a schedule so full you can't calm your thoughts enough to fall asleep at night.

You've probably been there at some point in your life. You rush before God like an eager child bursting into a room full of toys only to find that you have no idea how to begin to pray. You don't know if you should be asking for guidance, protection or forgiveness - or all of the above. And what about how to prioritize your list?

Maybe you've finally got a minute to yourself, so you grab your Bible, look up at the ceiling and think, Now what? That list you've been building in your mind goes blank. The phone rings. The kids cry. The tv blares from another room. The dog barks. Anything...everything interrupts the moment.

How do you pray when words fail?

Enter the Holy Spirit. He perceives our heart's agony and comforts us in our weakness. He knows our spiritual battle often burns hottest when we fight within ourselves. We wrestle with how to prioritize our prayers. We struggle with imposing our human agendas on a holy God. We cross our arms, grit our teeth and mentally (sometimes physically!) stomp our feet when things don't turn out as we desperately prayed they would. Life's frustrations can mute us spiritually.

We do not know what we ought to pray for...Romans 8:26

But God does not stop hearing us when we're dumbstruck before Him. Both in silence and when our words flow in a jumbled torrent, the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf to the Father.

He knows what to pray for.

So the next time your spirit groans with a weight heavier than you can bear, trust that even when you might not be able to find the words, God clearly hears your cries through the intervention of the Holy Spirit. He knows your heart. He knows your thoughts. He knows your greatest needs better than you do yourself. And though your words may fail, your intercessor will never fail you.


In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. Romans 8:26-27

The lies we believe...

During staff prayer yesterday...Pastor Kurt talked about the lies of the devil that we all too often believe. Lies that creep in slowly...quietly...conniving. Lies that are easier to listen to and believe when we are tired, stressed, hungry, overworked.

When do you feel the devil attacking you?

Then he asked us to name 2 lies that are easy for us to believe...and find scripture as an antidote.

My two lies were:

1. I am not worthy of God's love

2. I am not forgiven.

Both of those I feel can go back to acceptance and comparing myself to others. Feeling like I am not worthy of God's love...not worthy of love from others...because I am not good enough. Not good enough because I am really not forgiven. How in the world could the God of the universe love me? How could He love me knowing all of the bad that I've done...knowing that I knew right from wrong most of the time and still committed my sins? Feeling like I am not forgiven for those sins. There are plenty of other people who have done way less...how could He possibly want to forgive me? How could He possibly want me?

But He does...and it says it in Isaiah 43:25...
I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more...

And in Romans 8:1...
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus...

Then in 2 Corinthians 5:17-21...
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

The master plan of the enemy is to separate us from others, ourselves, and from God. He has worked hard down through the generations to sow hurt, trauma, deception and every sinful reaction he could into us.

Something that I learned from P.F...when I start to feel the weight of satans lies creeping into my head is saying, "So what."

"You aren't good enough." So what? My God makes me good enough.
"You don't have the skills to do that job." So what? My God will equip me.
"You can't handle that situation." So what? My God will be with me every step.
"You're not strong enough." You're right. I'm not...but so what? He is. And He is enough.

Whatever your 'lie' is...follow by saying, "You're right...but so what!"

Singleness....the disease....

This past weekend Dr. Terry Thomas preached on "Things we want more of: Love." Last week was "Things we want more of: Time," which I am still letting sink in...considering that five minutes after he got done, I was impatiently staring at the woman next to me wondering when she was going to get up for communion.


He started with some famous love songs...

Here in your arms I found my paradise
My only chance for happiness
And if I lose you now I think I would die
You're more than a woman to me...


Talk about alot to live up to. Paradise? My only chance for happiness? Apparently the writer of that song never ventured to Target.

Pastor Terry talked about 2 myths that we can misguidedly have:


1. I need this other person to fulfill my needs.

2. If this person needs me, I will feel complete.

Have you ever found yourself feeling like this? That the other person you are with is your entire being...and without them, you aren't happy? I have. And although you rarely see it like that when you are going through it, it's pretty easy to do. Pretty selfish too. While making attempts to try to complete yourself through another person, you become extremely selfish and end up defeating the purpose for which you began the relationship in the first place.

I was sitting there...in the safety of my third row seat...trying to recall all of the relationships I had been in. Going through my own little relationship autopsy. Wondering if I had been guilty of this in some, if not all of them. Guilty of starting too fast. Guilty of putting aside what God was trying to show me. Guilty of putting aside the other persons shortcomings. Guilty of taking my singleness into my own hands, rather than enjoying the season I am in. I was talking with a friend the other day about our singleness...and how hard this wedding season was for her. She had dealt with the many questions that we all get..."Why aren't you dating anyone?" "Why aren't you married?" "Don't you want to be married and have a family?" "There's plenty of guys out there to date" and my personal favorite..."Aren't you getting a little old?"

The anticipation of those questions can make any single girl run for the hills.

Just like the myths Pastor Terry talked about, society can have those same myths about being single. Society (and by society I mean your Aunt Ellie at your cousins wedding) can seem to think that unless we are dating or married, we are unfulfilled. That we are not complete.

P.T. referenced a book called "Relationships" by Dr. Leslie Parrott. In it they talk about a 4 step process to making sure you are ready for a relationship, and are getting into one with the right mindset.

• Healing your own hurts
• Taking off the mask
• Sit in the drivers seat
• Turn to rely on God

In healing our own hurts, it's important that we take inventory of our own baggage and brokenness. Everyone has hurts from our past. To quote Pastor Steven: "You're screwed up and I'm screwed up." We're all messed up. The challenge is to heal those hurts and not carry them into a future relationship.

Taking off the mask. Sounds pretty scary, huh? It definitely can be. Letting others in to see the real you not only means being vulnerable; it also means that in order to show others the real you, you first must know who the real you is. It's so amusing to me when I hear about couples that got married early or quickly...only to find out later that that person changed. That person didn't change. You simply did not know who they were. They also might not have known who they were at the time which is why it's so vital that we continue to take courtship and dating seriously. How easy is it to get to know someone? Pretty easy...if you are asking the right questions. How often are you asking the right questions if you are jumping into the physical intimacy of a relationship quickly? Not often is my guess. We as Godly women have got to be firm on this! Set the boundaries and guidelines right away. Let them know exactly what you are looking for and what you will not do. Not only because you want to get to know them, but because we are called to obey God's commands.

Which leads to the third point: Sit in the drivers seat. This can only come with time spent alone and full knowledge of where you are and who you are as a child of God. You've got to know the plan for your life. A plan that includes following God's word and living it. Ever hear the phrase, "If you don't know what you stand for, you'll fall for anything?" That applies here. If you don't know what it is you are willing to fight for, you could be talked into just about anything. Know what you stand for, what is important to you, and don't compromise. God doesn't direct us to compromise.

Turn to rely on God. When we come to the understanding that we are no longer 'out of Christ' (in the dark, lost, dead) but 'in Christ' (in the light, saved, alive), our identity is set. We no longer have to question who we are. We are loved unconditionally by the Creator of the universe who sent His only begotten Son to the world so that we may live through Him 1 John 4:9. When we know that our identity is in Christ, we find a restoration through God's love. That love allows us to take off our mask and sit in the drivers seat.

Sitting in the drivers seat looks a little something like this for me.

I know who I am.

I am...

God's child...For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God 1 Peter 1:23

Forgiven...In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace Ephesians 1:7

Delivered...For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the Kingdom of the Son He loves Colossians 1:13

Strong...Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty plan Ephesians 6:10

Complete...And you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority Colossians 2:10

Does any of this make it any less lonely? Does it make it any easier to watch a romantic movie or struggle to keep your thoughts on God during a wedding? No way. But I am resting in the faith that the Lord of creation...the Maker of the heavens and earth...knows my hearts desire. He knows every hair on my head, and certainly knows what I am looking for in a husband. My job now is to listen to Him. Let Him guide my steps, and continue to bask in His words and glory. When I am ready, He will bring it to light. Do I think I was called to be single? Yes. Today, I am called to be single. I cannot say about tomorrow.

And to that pesky little question that all us single girls hear way too often, "Why aren't you married?"

Maybe the correct answer would be, "The reason I am not married today is so that the work of God might be displayed in my life."

Acknowledging Anger With God

Today's guest post by Maggie...and I'm so glad she did. Some really amazing insight that I know is important for us all to hear...and feel our way through.

Several wise people in my life, along with me noticing a rather draining and sad pattern in my walk with Christ, keep pointing to one thing: I'm angry with God.

But every time I've arrived at this conclusion, whether by myself or by someone who loves me, I sit and think, "Ok, so I exhibit all the signs of someone who is angry with/at God...I don't feel any anger. Why would I be angry? Who am I to be angry against the Creator and Sustainer of the universe? No, I'm not angry. I've just been lazy in doing my part. Shame on me."

So I write it off, and with my ever famous (and often destructive) attitude of self-well, I continue down the path, only to get distracted and frustrated again a short time later.

Today, while reading a book called "Embracing Biblical Love" by Nancy Groom, the author boldly shares a recent journal entry of hers, in which she realized what anger with God really looked like. It stopped me dead in my tracks. The bold is my emphasis, not the authors, as an indicator of where it really hit home.

"My anger against God doesn't feel like I thought it would. I thought I'd feel deep rage and an overwhelming desire to hurt Him. Instead I find just a deep complaint, a nagging self-pity, a free-floating dissatisfaction with life and relationships, a quiet conviction that I deserve something better, a profound absence of genuine gratitude for God's gifts, a deep belief that I don't need a Savior (I've done quite well at living the Christian life without much help from God or anyone else), and an appalling lack of love for inner connectedness with God. That angry arrogance shrouds my soul and I am helpless to remove it. If God does not break in, I am undone. I can only ask-petition-beg for grace...and at the same time wonder whether I even want or need it. How profound my rage must be! Deep within is a core of hardness and self-sufficiency, an inner stronghold of resistance to grace that frustrates me as surely as it must grieve the Father. Whatever it is, I love its safety more than I want God right now."

Wow. While what Groom has to share does not solve my problems, there is freedom in finding someone else's words that explain thoughts and feelings that so profoundly summarize what I couldn't express. The conviction was heavy, but God's love for me in revealing my sad state couldn't have come at a more perfect time. His time. Lately I've been trying to fix it. With people, things, and places. With reading the Bible more, with gossiping less, with trying to be a better friend, with entertaining myself through hobbies and interests.

Yet when I finally broke down in my grueling state of frustrated prayers, when my self sufficiency again ran out of fuel, and I cried out that I didn't know why I didn't love and want God more, He heard the scared, lonely child who just wanted to find her way back Home; and I heard a Father who had long since been waiting to show me the way.

I thought you might appreciate this because as a woman in today's culture, it is often drilled into us that we do have to be everything to everyone, and that we can only really depend on our own strength and ability to get it done! The message that "self sufficiency is the only sure way" is all too prevalent in our culture, and when waiting on God doesn't yield the results we want right away, it's an easy lie to buy! I thought you might appreciate the reminder and live today in the freedom of knowing it's ok to not be enough, because Jesus is. And it's ok to not have it all figured out either, because He will guide you if you seek Him.

Praying that He gives you the strength and conviction to keep you moving forward in your relationship with Him, while having the patience to wait on Him at the same time, no matter how crazy or broken things may seem.

Believing

Father, thank You for Your mighty promises. Your Word is a lamp unto my feet. Like Peter walking on the water, I want to step out on Your Word and stand above the circumstances around me. I am sorry for the times I have allowed the concerns of this world speak louder to me, than the truth of Your Word. I choose right now to align myself with Your Word, trusting in Your faithfulness. I hold up Your mighty promises and Your commandments as the standard of my life.

I thank You that, "Not one of Your good promises has ever failed." I proclaim my complete trust in Your promises and my obedience to Your commands. I pray as King David did, "Oh that my ways may be established To keep Thy statutes!" Strengthen my faith, Lord, that I might honor You as I stand on Your promises.

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12

Not one of the good promises which the Lord had made to the house of Israel failed; all came to pass.
Joshua 21:45

For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, in order that by them you might become partakers of divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust.
2 Peter 1:4

Have you been concerned with the things of this world lately?

Turn your thoughts to Him. Thank Him for His promises and faithfulness.

They are everlasting.

My Date With Slick

I had a date tonight.

He was tall, strong, protective, and took me to see the most beautiful view I've seen in a long time.

His friends call him Slick.

Oh, did I mention? He's a horse. I was so excited...it's been quite a few years since I had been riding. A good friend has been going for a few weeks now, and I finally found some time to join her! I got to the farm...and they introduced me to Slick. We saddled up and headed off...with no guide. They assured us the horses pretty much knew their way through the woods, and if not, they would be along in a bit to find us. Sounds assuring, huh? So, Forbes and Slick carried us into the woods and up the mountain. It was so beautiful out...a cool 75 degrees...the sun was starting to sink in the sky...and nothing but us, our horses, and nature.

I realized pretty quickly that Slick had a mind of his own. He had no desire to follow my lead...nor my desired pace. Needless to say, it was a slow start. We had lots of distractions due to the fact that Slick really didn't want to do anything but take his good old time. I'm quite positive that both Forbes and Slick knew that there wasn't a guide with us. They knew they could practically get away with anything.

We started up the mountain and were trying to lead them to the right. They went left. We eventully made it to the top and came upon a huge clearing. They are trained...and I use the word 'trained' lightly...to get to the top, go down the path around the bottom, and run back to the clearing. This would be the moment that Slick decided the last thing he wanted to do was run. He wanted to eat the grass and flowers in front of him. I guess his free time out of the barn was too much to pass up.

I reluctantly got him to the path and we started back to the point where he was supposed to run. I kicked him hard and he took off. For about 5 feet. Slick just didn't want to do what I wanted him to. He was grumpy and digging his feet in. Literally. After a few times around that path...Slick had had enough. Then the guides arrived with another group, and proceeded to inform me that Slick was indeed grumpy and is known for biting and kicking other horses.

Ten minutes later...he bit Forbes.

On the way down the mountain...Forbes was ready to get away from us. So it was just me, Slick, and the deer crossing our path. It was so peaceful and relaxing...to be taking in all of the beauty around me. Being so grateful for God's gifts that surrounded me. Everything was so simple. At that moment I was more convinced that this was where I needed to be. Away from the city...away from the business of it all. Somewhere that life was simple. Somewhere that I could take in true nature everyday. And all of a sudden...the peace I had been longing for came.

Just like Slick, I had been having a rough few days. There were definitely some people I wanted to 'bite,' but I got through it. With lots of time in the Good Book, heartfelt prayers from friends, and some alone time with Slick. By the end of our date, I was serenading him with some Jesus.

I think he even smiled.

Wipeout

After some laughs and catch up on the phone, a very good friend of mine and I were talking about God's timing. About letting go of control. And I said, "You know, sometimes I think that by me saying I am letting go of my control, I'm actually trying to fake God out. You know, it's like saying, 'Hey God...I know You're in control...so you don't have to give me that job right there...because I know You're in control...but it would be really great if I got it. Look!! I've let go of my control!'"

Have you ever tried to fake God out? Have you prayed for patience during a time of waiting to only find yourself more impatient?

These two go hand in hand for me. I am a pretty big control freak. Ask anyone. I am always early; I plan everything; I have the Mary Poppins purse; I pack for vacation a week ahead of time; I could live out of the trunk of my car for a month. But, have I ever really looked at my sometimes trying to fake God out and getting impatient from His point of view? When I am waiting on God, do I realize that He is waiting on me?

Isaiah captured this thought...
Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious unto you.. Isaiah 30:18

The timing of God's blessing is always perfect. He knows when we are spiritually ready to receive the blessing that He prepares for us. He knows what each of our lives needs and when we need it. He knows when our spiritual life requires the sunshine of His love. He knows too when we need a cloud of trial to cause us to cling more nearly to Him. Both sunshine and cloud bring blessings that are treasures for us.

Knowing that He waits to bless us...brings about hope. Hope that as long as we continue to strive for His will in all we do, He will pour out His blessings.

We wait in hope for the Lord. Psalms 33:20

Part of the problem of giving up that control...is giving up trying to fix it on our own. Ever watch the show Wipeout? I picture God watching us try and go through life on our own sometimes...and...well, you get the idea. People have a natural tendency to want to fix and do things on their own. And I think that men have a harder time with this than women. I have found that most times when I find myself pouring my heart out to someone, the automatic response from a man is to try and fix it. When all you really want is someone to listen. About 98% of the time, I just want someone to listen. About 98% of the time, they try to fix the problem. When we find ourselves involved in a problem, it's natural to want to do the following:

1. Seek out the best counsel
2. Try the best treatments
3. Pay the highest price for answers

When in all reality, we should be running toward God. Why is it sometimes that God is the last one we consult?

Having to wait on God forces us into submission to His will and timing.

He lets us exhaust all of our resources and energies until the only hope we have left is rest in His will and His plan. Sometimes it's easy to be impatient, but I have found that even though His answer isn't always in our controlled time frame, or alot of times the answer we wanted, it ends up being a sweeter one than we could have ever imagined.

Red Envelope

Do you all know about this website?? It's really fantastic, speedy, and arrives gift wrapped! Check it out here...

I recently sent a birthday present...that for some reason was seen as a 'murse.' For the record, it was NOT a murse.

Consider...

As I was driving the other day to Target...because I really don't go anywhere else...I was cut off by a very anxious driver. I could feel my hands tense and my body get heated, and my first instinct was to start screaming! But I didn't. I took a breath, relaxed, and realized that the only person who was going to be harmed by my bad reaction was me. I chose to focus on something else. And then I started thinking that one of the most remarkable capacities of the human mind is to direct its own attention to something it chooses. We can pause and say to our minds, "Think about this, and not that."

We can focus our attention on an idea or a picture or a problem or a hope. Talk about an amazing power! Such a gift from God...part of His image in us. And it's an immensely powerful means of our becoming what we ought to be. Although this wonderful gift is instilled in us, it's difficult at times to use. Have you been ignoring this great weapon against sin? The Bible calls us again and again to use it...so let's start taking it out, shining it up and put it to use!

Paul says in Romans 8:5-6, “Those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, [set their minds on] the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.”

What you set your mind on determines whether the issue is life or death.

I think that we have become far too passive in our pursuit of change and wholeness and peace. I fear that in today's society we have fallen into the passive mindset of simply “talking through our problems” or “dealing with our issues” or “discovering the roots of our brokenness in our family of origin.” As great as these may be, I feel that we tend to slip into a passive way of thinking about change—that it may come to me one of these days as I “talk through” my problems. Coming to it one of these days just isn't good enough. It takes practice, determination, and a will to want to change. God is here for you. He wants you to be better, whole, changed, and at peace. But you've got to focus your mind to get there.

“Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth” Colossians 3:2

“Enemies of the cross,” Paul says, “set their minds in earthly things” Philippians 3:19

Our emotions are controlled so much by what we consider - what we dwell on with our minds. Jesus told us to overcome the emotion of anxiety by what we consider:
“Consider the ravens … Consider the lilies” Luke 12:24, 27

Your mind is the window into your heart. What happens if we constantly think about things that are dark? Our heart feels dark. But if we open the window of our minds to the light, our heart will feel the light.

“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8

Above all, this great capacity of our minds to focus and consider is meant for considering Jesus.

“Holy brethren, partakers of a heavenly calling, consider Jesus … Consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you may not grow weary and lose heart” Hebrews 3:1; 12:3

Let's learn not to be passive with our minds...

Baseball Gloves and Dad

Last week I visited my Dad in Wheeling. His girlfriend's son, Max, had a baseball game. Max is the team catcher, and as any kid can be, a little forgetful at times. We got to the game...he climbed out of the car and ran to the dugout. My Dad and I were standing at the fence, catching up and talking about the game...when he looked at me and said, "Why is Max in the outfield with no glove?" So we walked over to the dugout, and proceeded to ask where his glove was. Max had forgot it. He had no clue where it was. It wasn't in his bag or in the car. The other team had heard what was going on, and their coaches came over to try and help...giving Max a glove to try. He had quite a few gloves to pick from...but he didn't want any of them. He wanted his glove. He didn't want to change...and would rather not play, than to accept the new glove. After some good old fashioned coaxing by my Dad, Max picked a glove (that he swore was too big) and a few minutes later, he was on the field. Playing with his new glove. The one that he was certain wouldn't work and was too big. But my Dad was there...nudging him along...trying to show him that there would be something that he would be missing out on if he didn't accept this new glove. This change. And he was right! Max played awesome and had so much fun...but I'd like to think he also learned a lesson. The same lesson that we all need to learn. Change isn't fun. Trying new things can be scary. Leaving jobs and people is most of the time down right sad and frightening. But when we do those things...there are new and exciting experiences to be had. Experiences that we would have otherwise missed out on. Just like my Dad was trying to teach Max this lesson...our Father is also wanting us to learn it. Nudging us along the way...wanting us to see that there is more than we can fathom waiting for us if we'd only take a leap and make a change. I'd like to think that Max learned this lesson. And hopefully the lesson of not forgetting your beloved glove.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Happy Father's Day to the man that is my hero...

Can't get enough...

Of this song...

Draw Me Nearer - Meredith Andrews

For Your nearness, Lord, I hunger

For Your nearness, Lord, I wait

Hold me ever closer Father

With such a love I can't escape

For Your nearness I am hoping

For Your nearness, Lord, I long

I have no need of any other

I have found where I belong

I have found where I belong

So draw me nearer, Lord

Never let me go

Closer to Your heart

Draw me nearer, Lord

Draw me nearer, Lord

In Your nearness there is healing

What was broken now made whole

Restoration in its fullness

Lasting hope for all who come

In Your nearness I take shelter

Where You are is where I'm home

I have need of only one thing

To be here before Your throne

To be here before Your throne

So draw me nearer, Lord

Never let me go

Closer to Your heart

Draw me nearer, Lord

Keep me here

Keep me here

There's nowhere else I'd rather be

So draw me nearer, Lord

Never let me go

Closer to Your heart

Draw me nearer, Lord

Mythbusters

I was watching Mythbusters the other day. It was the one where they were debating the huge water slide launch into a teeny tiny pool, and the package delivery truck saving gas by only making right hand turns. The slide launch...I want one in my backyard. I don't think they have enough adult water slides in random places. Shouldn't there be an emergency slide out of work? And instead of a fire escape...picture a water slide.

The delivery truck company was making the case that instead of traveling the direct route to a destination...only taking right hand turns would save time and gas consumption because they wouldn't be sitting idle at the traffic lights waiting to turn left. Which, in theory, could make sense. But, as it turns out, is not faster nor gas efficient...even though it was close. Close enough to take a second look...and close enough for a major company to use this as everyday practice.

Think of computer programs. They are full of shortcuts, and shortcuts for the original shortcuts. Competent, intelligent people who put shortcuts on their home screen to save time. Why are we so obsessed with saving time? Maybe because we are filling our time with things that we subconsciously know don't matter. Sitting in traffic, sitting in a meeting, waiting in line at Starbucks, waiting for the Comcast guy, being put on hold with a customer service rep who doesn't speak English, facebooking, blogging, texting, chatting, googling...the list goes on.

Are we trying to save time from all these things...or for these things?

Now, I'm not trying to say that we save time for the customer service guy. But facebooking, texting, watching tv...yea, probably. There's nothing wrong with those things (I remind myself as I stare at the basket of laundry haunting me as I blog) but are we filling the rest of our time with things that really mean something? Like building our relationship with Christ? Spending our time in prayer, in fellowship, in His Word? What price are we paying by taking the shorter route...by only making right hand turns...by adding shortcuts to our hard drives?

If we have our eyes on only the end result...on only the finish line...on only the destination drop-off, we are missing the big picture. The journey, the process, the day to day issues and trials we face are being left behind. They are things that we just try and 'get through.' But guess what...

There is no shortcut to your relationship with God.

There is only the path that He chooses for you. And that path includes some waiting. Some standing in line. Some being put on hold. But no matter how long we wait or think we are put on hold...He is always there. Guiding our walk with Him. There is something that you have to learn in that holding period. Something that He needs to tell you. Something that He needs to show you. Something He needs to teach you. And He's there. Waiting for you. Standing in line. Being put on hold.

Let's stop putting Him on hold...and dive into the life that He yearns for us to have. And live the best life we can...in His glory. In His likeness. In His word. He's there...waiting.


Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
Psalm 37:7-9

Satisfaction

sat·is·fac·tion
n.
1. the act of satisfying or state of being satisfied
2. the fulfilment of a desire
3. the pleasure obtained from such fulfilment
4. a source of fulfilment

I am really good at spelling. I think I always have been. When I was a little girl, I can remember being in multiple spelling bees, in front of lots of people. I dreaded being in front of crowds then, and still do. But although it was something that I disliked, profusely, I did it. Because it brought me satisfaction and happiness...and I knew I could do it.

When you have something that you are good at...a gift...you want to share it with the world and show people that it brings you fulfilment. That it brings you a sense of satisfaction. That you feel, even for a short season, you have a purpose. We all have gifts. They are very different, and come in lots of wide-ranging colors, shapes, and sizes. Some have a gift for animals, hospitality, the sick, kids, teaching, ministering, public speaking...even spelling. Whatever our gift, whether it can be seen by many or only known to a few, we should realize that it is given by God and use them wisely. A friend of mine has the amazing gift to make people feel welcome. She knows just what to say and when to say it. She can light up the face of the darkest person within minutes. I'm not even sure she's aware of the preciousness and prized value of this within her. But it's there. It's there because God knew that she would do wonders with it. She shows God's grace to hurting people with unusual passion. I am blessed to call her friend!

Take stock of your talents. We're all needed. We're all important. It is from the small and simple things that great things are brought to pass. Thank the Lord for the gifts you've been given, use them to the best of your abilities and God can do great things through you – even if you never see the full ramifications of your efforts in this life.

The gift of healing may come to one person and enable them to be a great doctor. With another, the gift of healing may enable them to have a calming effect on those who are troubled emotionally or mentally. They may have the gift to lift spirits and heal minds and hearts.

"The real power comes when we each use our unique talents and work symbiotically with others to build the kingdom."

It's time we started building each other up so that we can each be the best we can be. Building God's kingdom is a team effort, and that means each of us needs to be doing our best and cheering on our teammates! Assess your own talents and abilities, and then look for ways you can love and lift others. He has given you a gift. Strive to explore that gift...learn to think like God, and accomplish what He desires. Find out the purpose for which He sent it.

For my thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher
than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return
to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth;
It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish
what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
Isaiah 55:8-11

incourage.me

I love this website...and found these beautiful plates!

Now I just have to re-do my kitchen to match....



I will sing of the mercies of the LORD forever: with my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations. Psalm 89:1

Get Up!

This morning, I did not want to get up. It was 6:55...and I had already hit snooze five times. I was now awake, but just didn't want to move. Ever have one of those days? Where you know you need to get up and get moving, but you just can't find the effort it requires? When I was laying there, the effort that it was going to require for me to start my day and get in gear felt so great. I did not want to rise from my comfy, warm bed. But we all know what happens once we do. It's not so bad...and not so hard. All you have to do is swing your legs off the bed...and stand up.

While reading through Acts 9 this morning, I heard...again...the words, "Get Up!" This phrase occurs many times, with all different settings.

On the road to Damascus, Saul was crushed to the ground by a blazing light and a surprising voice. After the Lord identified himself as Jesus, His first command to Saul was, "Now get up."

And then Peter instructed Aeneas, the paralytic in Lydda, to "get up and take care of your mat," after declaring, "Jesus Christ heals you."

In Joppa, a much loved saint named Tabitha had died. Peter went to the upstairs room where she had been put. After he knelt and prayed, he turned to the dead woman and said, "Tabitha, get up."

Now, to 'get up' can have a few meanings. It can be used in the sense of waking someone up from sleep, to rise from a flat position if someone was sick, but the deeper meaning of the root word is so insightful. It is the same root word used for resurrection - meaning to arise from the dead.

Do you feel spiritually asleep? Maybe even dead? Most of us are found at some time or another like Saul. Needing to be resurrected from the entrapment of our sin. God requires our immediate obedience...and to get up and get moving towards Him!

"What shall I do, Lord?" I asked.
"'Get up,' the Lord said, 'and go..'
Acts 22:10

We may not know where to go, or what to do, but nothing is too big or too great for God! Especially when it comes to turning one of the most hostile opponents of the Lord into a willing servant. He has the ability to save anyone. The challenge is to not be deceived by self-satisfaction...as Saul was pretty content with his life. Stop being content with your life as it is now! Turn to God...and enjoy the abundance of His grace.

"Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed."
Luke 8:50

Just move your feet...God will guide you where to go.

My Fractured Foot

About 2 years ago, I fell. Surprise, surprise my friends would say. I fall alot. I fall often. Thankfully, I am vertically challenged so I don't have too far to fall. When I fell, I fractured my foot. And aside from wearing a very ugly shoe for awhile, it looks perfect. But I can still feel it sometimes. That foot has never been the same. If I wear heels for too long, only that foot gets swollen. The doctor said it was healed. It looks healed. But I know it's there. I can feel it.

I think about my foot...and realize that even though it was healed, it is still a problem for me. It is still an issue that I have, and will probably always have. But it was something that I could not heal on my own. Oh, I tried. I tried icing it, not walking on it, but eventually I had to see the doctor. I couldn't do it by myself.

Just like I couldn't heal my foot by myself, you can't heal the issues in your life by yourself. You can try, and believe me we all do. We think that we can handle things on our own. We are prideful and determined to be independent and take care of it. We depend solely on our sheer will. But just like the break of a bone, sometimes things don't heal correctly. Sometimes they need to be re-broken. And it hurts. The issues that you face in your life that need to be 're-broken' hurt. It's not easy. But it's during those times that we need to learn to lean on God, and depend on only Him. Just because you face difficult times, doesn't mean you are out of the Will of God. God will break you. That brokenness that you are feeling and going through...pushes us to God. So He allows it. He encourages it. He wants it. He knows we need it. We need it to know Him more. We need it to show others His Grace. His love. His mercy. That He is the ultimate Healer. Which is why we should not be worried and anxious during these times.

That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:10

The only thing left to do is humble yourself. Humble yourself before The Lord and know that His knowledge for your life is greater than anything you could imagine. I mean, remember who we're talking about here! The God of the universe! He has helped you before, He will help you now, and will continue to.

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Mark 11:24

"But prayer really works. It changes things. It moves mountains. Have faith, because God is faithful. Trust Him, because He is trustworthy. Focus on the spiritual battle that's more real than what we see, hear, and feel. Call upon the Father who loves you, and persist until you see Him move. He will. He promised." - Janet Folger

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

Lessons learned in Charlotte, NC

1. Downtown is really Uptown.
2. My hair really loves the water in Charlotte.
3. There are ALOT of Walmarts.
4. Hobby Lobby needs to expand to Pittsburgh.
5. I miss my Cara more than I realized.
6. Elevation and Pastor Steven know how to have some CHURCH!

So, I traveled to Charlotte, NC to see one of my best friends that I have known since I was 12, Cara. She is getting married in September to a wonderful Godly man and needed some help planning...so I packed the car and away I drove. The drive wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I'm pretty used to driving long distances by myself...and to be honest, I like the alone time. I made it in record time...stopping only twice to fill the tank up. It's always amazing to me...and a beautiful feeling, that no matter how much time goes between visits or talks, Cara and I pick up right where we left off. We went over some ideas the night I arrived...gabbed for quite awhile...and the next morning got cracking on the shopping. Invitations...check. Stamps...check. Sweet tea...check. I will never understand the obsession with sweet tea. I like hot tea. I like iced tea. Is it really necessary to make either of those any sweeter? Sigh...

Friday consisted of lots of shopping...ending with the bridal shop. Dresses, shoes, head pieces, jewelry...and Cara was beautiful and glowing. I can't wait to see the final result! Her fiance met us for dinner that night...at...wait for it...521 BBQ...the most unique and delicious bbq joint I've been to in awhile! I did feel a little out of place. Everyone was so nice...I didn't know what to do with myself. It's just a different lifestyle there...calm...carefree...and kind. Something I think I could get used to.

Saturday.

The day I was looking forward to.

Church day.

Elevation day.

Pastor Steven day.

I was like a kid on the first day of school. The service started at 6...and at 4, I was pacing. We pulled up...and the greeters were out in full force! They asked if it was my first time (was the smile on my face and sprint inside shouting first timer?) to which I said "YES!!" They handed me a V.I.P. packet...and welcomed me in. There were dozens of volunteers outside greeting people and making everyone feel welcome. Once inside, I couldn't sit still. The worship team came out and played the most amazing music...all so talented! Luckily...we got a seat up front. Two rows behind Pastor and Holly. He gave a message on finding your passion...calling you out. Living your best...empowering the people of God and being united. He asked the question,

"Is there a misery that could turn into your ministry?"

And I started thinking...a calling isn't about something you do...but about someone you become. The belief that the best is yet to come, and it's probably going to look different than anything that has come before it. Having the confidence that what we can do through God is more than we can imagine accomplishing on our own. Your calling isn't going to build your resume. It's going to build your soul.

"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." Frederick Buechner

Go seek God's will and ask where He needs you. And feed the world!

Not so grateful bank teller

I cashed a check today, and after she counted the money 6 times, yes, I said SIX TIMES, she handed it to me and I went on my way. Walking to the car, however, I felt this ping of something telling me to count it again. I was taking my old intern, who had come back to visit, to lunch. So I got in my car and drove off. The entire way knowing that I had to count the money she gave me. We walked in, ordered, and I opened my wallet. Sure enough, she had given me $20.00 too much. And all I kept thinking about was that scene in The Family Man where Don Cheadle is the angel...and the clerk at the convenient store. Remember that? This girl comes up to buy a pop and hands him a dollar bill. He takes it, says, "Change from ten," and proceeds to give her $9.00 back. She looks at him, astonished that he thought she gave him a ten. He asks her one last time if there was anything wrong, she says no, takes the money, and walks out. He watches her leave and says, "Man...character. And for what? A lousy nine bucks?" I kept thinking that over and over again...that I knew I needed to return it. Her drawer would be off by $20.00. There was no way I could keep it. But there was that moment. That little moment when you think, Well, it was her fault. She messed up. She counted it six times. It's only twenty dollars. And you'd be right. It is only twenty dollars. Would you really jeopardize yourself for a lousy twenty bucks? You don't know what load that teller was carrying today. You don't know if she was having an awful day, if her boss just yelled at her for messing up, if her kid is sick, if her car broke down. Haven't we all had one of those days? So, after lunch, I drove back to the bank. Walked in, and quietly asked if she remembered me, and told her she gave me more money than I should have gotten. She took the money, gave me a half smile, and said, "Huh. Oh." I turned and walked out. Really?? Did that seriously just happen?! Where have everyones manners have gone!? A thank you would have been nice! Especially since that $20.00 could have gotten me a pair of shoes at Target.

It's all Kristin's fault...

For two reasons. One, she threw my brilliant idea to make us alot of money out the window. And two, I bribed her...to start doing her blog more...and to let me give it out to people...which has backfired because now she is waiting for me to update mine. Love you Kristin!

Returning to the blog...feels right to start with a message I heard from our Pastor Kurt. The Prodigal Son. Specifically the older brother. Which I totally see in myself...and was brought to tears. The one thing that stuck out that I find I have to remind myself daily of is "Sometimes sin just isn't the things we do wrong, but the reasons we do right."

Talk about a message just for me! Since I was little, I was the good daughter. The one that my parents didn't have to worry about. The daughter that everyone always depended on. The child that you could assume would just take care of things. And don't get me wrong, I am glad to do it. Most of the time. But I can't help but feel, and after 27 years mind you, just a little bit resentful. Ok. Alot resentful. Why wasn't I allowed to be the one who didn't have to follow the rules and take care of things? Why wasn't it ok for me to go out and do whatever till whenever and not have anything be said about it? Why wasn't I ever the one who just took time for herself...not caring what people thought of me when I did it? Or did that really mean that I did care what people thought of me? After all these things that I have done and continue to do, I always felt it was never good enough. I never felt good enough.

Now we're getting down to the nitty gritty. Did I not do those things because I was fearful of what people would think of me? Or did I not do them because I was trying to control the situation and stay 'good.' Because in 'staying good,' I was hoping that they would see me as good, and therefore love me more. But here's the amazing part. God's love is not bound by our goodness or badness. If you are bad, He doesn't love you any less. And if you are good, He doesn't love you any more.

I always looked at this parable as the younger brother coming home. I never focused on the older brother. Because even then the focal point for me was the fact that all anyone cared about was the return of the younger brother. I was mad! I was angry....for the older brother. And for the older brother that lived in me. But I didn't want to feel this way! I want to feel loved...and secure...and understood. And then it hit me. Like someone taking a bat and smacking me in the head. I was loved. I was secure. I was understood. By my Father. By someone who would never let me down. By someone who would never leave me. And His love and grace is sufficient enough. I started to slowly realize that the father in this story must have felt so conflicted. As my parents must have felt and feel. They must feel so torn, that what they were doing wasn't enough. That no matter what they do it just isn't good enough. Once I started to open my eyes to a new way of thinking, a new way of feeling came. And with a new way of feeling, a new way of giving. I have to stop being the older brother of the prodigal son - let go of my resentment, know that we all are doing the best we can, and come into the love of the Father! The love of the Father that will never waiver and never let me go. Now that's a story worth living!

Overpaid Babysitter

I like my job. I'm really good at my job. But I feel like an overpaid babysitter. I work with seven, 40-something men all day...who are worse than women. They come into my office, ALL DAY, and complain about each other. I would seriously rather have a group of women all pmsing. It's that bad. "He said this about me." "He touched me." "I can't go to lunch when I want to." The part that stinks is I really love my boss. He's one of the most wonderful bosses I have ever had. He lets me be me...knowing full well that I tend to rub some people the wrong way. But sometimes I have to! I'm in charge of the office by myself...and sometimes that screams, "young female I can take advantage of." Hence, I am looking for a new job. I have about 7 months to find one...I have a 'feeling' my boss is retiring. Time to break out the interviewing skills......

I hate Valentine's Day

I never really did before. I always liked it. I can recall making my card box for school...spending weeks prior decorating it. Do you remember waking up and having that feeling in the pit of your stomach? That uneasy, exciting feeling like anything could happen today? Anyone could surprise you? Everyone was nicer than usual...everyone was a little more willing to go the extra mile. Yea. I'm pretty sure those days are gone. I went from being married, getting the usual red roses and card with almost no facial expression behind them to being newly single (I think) and not knowing if he was going to call or not. Or remember it was Valentine's Day. Or remember me on Valentine's Day. The day came and went. Without a call. Or a card. From him. Did I mention I was feeling a little bitter today?

Vegetable Stir Fry

Ok...I'm 13 days in. Feeling pretty good! The caffeine headaches have subsided...and it's really not that difficult to stick to the allowed foods. I really didn't eat alot of dairy or pasta to begin with. But I've had a breakthrough! I have found a dish that makes enough for days...and is filling...and tastes AWESOME! Brown rice, lots of fresh veges sauteed, and organic Italian dressing. Sounds simple, right? It is! But it really tastes amazing...and lasts for days! You really need the dressing to make it not so dry or bland. I tried the Maple Grove Farms of Vermont dressing at Giant Eagle...and it was delicious!

Grace to Endure

Something that I heard Andy Stanley say in one of his messages the other day that really hit home...

"God, I accept no for an answer, but if you're not going to change my circumstances, you've got to give me grace to endure."

WOW! Talk about a new way to view things. How often does it seem like God is inactive in our lives because we aren't getting the answer we want? He used the example of a child and a parent. Kids want alot of things that aren't good for them. They want things that their parents know aren't good for them. And when the parent says no, what happens? A temper tantrum usually...stomping around...slamming doors...giving the silent treatment, etc. Is that how we are reacting to God when He says no? By now, as grown adults, we should have realized that when we were kids, our parents were just trying to look out for us. They had our best intentions at heart, and knew what was best. Isn't that what God is doing? To tell us that even though we think we want something now, even if we really pray about it, or believe with all of our heart that it is really what we need, He knows better. He knows what is right for our lives.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Although we may not always get what we want, or what we pray for, we need to be understanding of the fact that God knows what is best. Ever hear your Mom or Dad say, "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"? God loves us. He doesn't want to see us hurt. You've got to lean on Him...hard! Lean on Him through your weaknesses. He wants people to be amazed at His power in your weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Our greatest weakness is God's greatest opportunity to show Himself in us! It takes more faith to endure a no from God, than it does to acquire a yes. When God says no, it is not a reflection of your faith. It is simply an opportunity to become a reflection of His greatness!

"God, I accept no for an answer, but if you're not going to change my circumstances, you're got to give me grace to endure."

Tortilla Soup

I found this recipe from Holly Furtick's website. I tried it...and I LOVE IT! Good soup even if you aren't on the fast. It makes alot too!


Ingredients:
1 carrot chopped
1 celery stick chopped
1 medium onion chopped
3 garlic cloves, pressed
2 tbsp olive oil
8 c vegetable broth (the expensive kind has 2x the flavor- I found that out by accident)
4 c water
1 can of black beans (Libby's organic have no added salt, found them at Walmart)
16 oz frozen corn
1 red tomato chopped
1 yellow tomato chopped
1/4 c chopped cilantro
2-3 tsp sea salt
1 lime
6 corn tortillas (found at Trader Joes)
Directions:Heat oil in the bottom of the pot and saute the first 4 ingredients until soft. Add everything else except the tortillas. Low boil for about 30 minutes. Add tortillas. Cook for another 10 minutes.
Serve topped with fresh chopped avocado and green onion.

Into the Water

Last night...I did one of the most dreadful things to me. I was on a stage. In front of lots of people. And I mean LOTS of people. Not only was I on a stage, in front of lots of people, I had to watch a video of myself, and then get in a pool. In front of lots of people. At least my clothes were on! I got baptized last night! It was the most scary, adventurous, emotional, fantastic, and liberating thing I have ever done. Making that outward expression of my inward change and profession of faith in Jesus Christ. I am so blessed by everything that has happened in my life...and gotten me to this point. By being saved a year ago...to realizing the true magnitude of God's love for me...to knowing that He has healed my heart. Getting in that water...and leaving all that junk there...and rising to walk in the newness of life with Christ, was the most amazing experience of my life! And what made it even better was that my parents were able to be there. After some good ol' fashion guilt...they came. And I know they were happy they did! They sat on opposite sides of the church...my father in the very last row and seat possible...not before he asked me if he was going to see anything that would freak him out however. But the important thing is that they were there. And I couldn't have been happier :)

Dinner with Kristin and Peter

Tonight I was lucky enough to be invited to have dinner with our Youth Pastor and his amazing wife. Their family is so beautiful...and their children are the cutest kids I have ever seen. And I know everyone says that...but really...they are the sweetest kids. Did I mention there are 4 of them? And that Peter and Kristin are 29 and 30? I arrived to their house (which they are renting...they recently moved from Colorado) which was SPOTLESS. I'm talking my apartment was messier...and it's just me. Ella, the 1 year old, greets me with the biggest smile I have seen all day...and her hands fly up as to say, "Hi!! Welcome to my home! Come on in!" Kristin is behind her...welcoming me in with open arms. I had always thought I was a great hostess when I was married. That was one of the best things that I did. I loved having people in my house...to cook for and entertain. And if I was good at it, Kristin takes it to another level. I just stared at her with awe. She took care of four kids all day, made dinner, had the kids fed and in their p.j.'s in time for Peter, herself, and I to sit down to have dinner. And at 8pm on the dot...Peter and Kristin told them it was ready for bed...and they said their good nights, and were off. In bed. Making no noise. I couldn't tell them enough how well behaved they were. They actually liked playing with each other. They actually listened to their parents. I could learn alot from these two! Especially Kristin. She was so humble...so real...so honest. I had so many questions for her! How did she handle having four kids when Peter was gone alot? Now don't get me wrong, Peter is there alot...and is a GREAT Dad...but when there is a spouse in ministry, they tend to have their hands in so many areas. Which leaves a very tired husband, and sometimes a self-pitying wife. This was my problem...not really a problem, but a question. How to avoid feeling that self-pity that you will eventually feel. I know one day I will be facing the same type of issue...and I that I can learn alot from this incredible woman! And she did it all with a smile...and brownies. :)

By the way...I cheated tonight on my fast. God and I talked about it. He understands.

Give Me Faith 2

Pastor Steven gave his second sermon is his series "Give Me Faith." I am so blessed to have come across P.S. and his wonderful church! He really brings it in his messages every week! Oh what I wouldn't give to just pack up and move to Charlotte...sigh...Anyway.
Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

What a huge concept of faith! To rely on what you have heard and learned, though you have not seen it. Jesus did some amazing things back in the day...things that we really aren't seeing now. But, are we? I know I have seen some pretty awesome stuff through Jesus. Healing the sick, overcoming addictions, protection, etc. But as far as the hugeness of public miracles is concerned...there aren't any. I think this is partly due to the fact that Jesus wants us to perform our own miracles...through knowing and spreading the Word of God. The Bible also shows that God doesn't necessarily want us to see His truth and where He is working during this age, so that we don't have to be fully accountable and we can be extended more mercy. Having faith means having a confident belief or trust of something. And I think something that we all forget that P.S. really brought home for me was that "Our faith is not in our faith. Our faith is in the faithfulness of our God." My faith is in the knowledge of God, knowing that He is the faithful one. He is the only faithful one. Faith is something that I am clinging to these days. Reminding myself that the trials that I face and go through are all for the Glory of God...and to let it be seen by all that although you are going through whatever is it you are...you are still faithful to our Lord and He will use the fires in your life not to destroy you - but to demonstrate His power towards you! He will stand with you in your trial to glorify Himself in your life. And what a remarkable thing that is! I find it humorous that people who are Christian think that because they are Christian, they will no longer face any trials. Wrong! You will probably face more...because there's another one that the devil has to fight against. Another soul saved. We just need to remember that we would have faced those trials with or without God. And I don't know about you, but I'm glad that when I'm facing them...I know He is with me and on my side. Forever.

Pray for me...

Today, I start the Daniel Fast.

Daniel 10:2-3 “In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.”

I know I'm late. But I figured later was better than never. I've been doing all my research (I'm kind of a research freak. I think I should have been a private investigator), have gone to the store, and am ready to make my first meal. The foods that I can eat are:

• water


• all fruits


• all vegetables


• all whole grains (brown rice, whole wheat pasta, whole wheat tortillas, popcorn)


• all nuts and seeds


• beans

So basically no meat, no dairy, no sugar, no coffee.

Wait, no coffee?

I can't tell you enough how much junk is really in all of our foods! I never really looked at the ingredients too much. I try to eat alot of fruits and veges, stay away from pasta, no packaged meals, you know...the things that 'seem' healthy. I realized this when I was searching for two things in particular. Organic pasta sauce (since whole wheat pasta is allowed) and oatmeal. The sauce was tricky! I searched and searched and finally found one that fit my budget...why didn't anyone ever tell me how expensive organic foods are?! It's crazy how much sugar is really in everything. But, I have to do it. I want to do it. I feel I need to do it. The breakthrough that I need...let's pray I get it. 21 days...here I come!

Two reasons I think I should be married...

1. To make sure I am awake in the morning and to prevent me from hitting snooze 16 times. Resulting in the best ten minute sleep intervals ever experienced, but consequently making me late for work.


2. To shovel the 32 inches of snow that has engulfed my car.

Give Me Faith

So, I follow Pastor Steven Furtick from Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC pretty closely. My night last night was filled pain, and worry, and just feeling very, very lost. But God is right on time. After getting out of the shower from which I was hunched over in a ball crying, I got online and searched for a sermon that I hadn't listened to yet. Praise the Lord I found Give Me Faith. And boy did it ever! Here are some key points from the sermon that saved me last night.

• What are the temptations and music that plays in your life? The idols that you hold larger than God? What is your "music"? What is your "idol"?


• If the music plays loud enough it will drown God's voice and you WILL bow down to it.


• Realize that your idol will not and cannot satisfy you.


• You cannot turn to anything but Jesus without turning your back to Jesus.


• God demands and insists on exclusive worship.

We have got to stop listening to the outside world...our idols...our music. The devil knows exactly what music he needs to play in order to make you dance. You've got to lay down your idol...lay it all down at the feet of Jesus and know that nothing in this world can ever be as big or as important as Him and His love for us.

Single...again...I think.

I am single. Again. I think. The "I think" part is the most confusing. There is a new chapter in my life...I think...I decided that a new blog was also in order. The old one just wasn't cutting it. So, here I am. I am divorced. 27. And definitely not where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I realize that I am not old, and that there is still plenty of time to do what I want to do...like have kids. But it doesn't make it any easier. Knowing that you may need to start over. It's so hard to find someone...a Godly someone, that you can stand being around and talk to everyday...let alone picture yourself spending the rest of your life with. It takes me hours to decide on a pair of shoes...let alone a man. I think one of the hardest parts about separating from someone is filling your time. You really don't fully gather HOW MUCH TIME you spend consumed with that other person. Time that I am filling with His Word. But all that time that you spent with that other person...talking, texting, talking, driving, worrying, shopping, talking. Did I mention talking? When it was a long distance relationship, as mine was, you spend ALOT of time talking on the phone. I find myself looking at it hundreds of times during the day. Wondering if it's broken. But it's not. And neither am I. Now I just need to make myself believe that...